I don’t wanna do it if Diddy did it!

I apologize in advance for the title. I don’t know why, but the South Park episode where Satan holds a Halloween party up on earth has been in my head since I left work. Work is btw great. I have been in a a board meeting for the organisation almost the whole day because we had to go over some economical stuff, which took a while. Anyways, I’m home and really have to study. I have decided to try to blog once a day now. I really want to be this wonder woman who gets everything done 🙂

The last news is that we have told F’s parents that we are together. We did it last night and I still have no idea how they react to this information. I know that his mother started crying after I had left. I think I understand too. In her head, it wasn’t this was it was supposed to be. F should get himself a nice Muslim, Pakistani girls from a good family and with a good education. They should  get married and have a lot of kids. They shouldn’t be dating since that’s forbidden in Islam. I have no idea how this will end. I guess time will tell… I have been a little freaked out by the no reaction they had, but now I’m fine. We are going to my parent’s this weekend. It will be the first time F is introduced to them. I look forward to it.

I had a fight with Boy last evening. I am pretty sick of him wanting to be friends, but at the same time not committing to the friendship. Maybe I shouldn’t be friends with him. In fact, the situation being, I cannot really see how we are. The initiative have to be mutual, which it isn’t. Frankly, I do not even care anymore.  Who am I kidding, I DO care. F***!

Love Mandy

What’s the point really?

I am working a lot at my new job as a student pro bono legal councilor. It’s really great. I am learning to se a very theoretical subject through the fates of people who need legal advice. I like it a lot. You really get the feeling that you can help people make their everyday life just a little easier.

As far as BFs go, I am good. We are telling F’s parents in two days, which could be interesting since they have recently told him they want him to start looking for a Muslim girl.

I’ll keep you posted 🙂

Love Mandy

Not so bad after all

Yesterday sucked. High on the list over things which suck are situations where your ex, whom you are trying to be friends with again, makes allusions to his or hers sexlife. What sucks even harder is that I cannot say anything because then he will know that it is making me uncomfortable and I do not want to give him that satisfaction.

Luckily, my brown boyfriend’s dad (my boss, also called T) were there to save the day. When he asked me if I could work on Sunday (which is today) and I said yes, he hugged me! He is my Pakistani boss and he has never, ever hugged me. Moreover, I am not really a hugger I am way too shy,so I have never taken any initiative. F was standing right next to us. After T had gone, F and I had a moment. You know when you feel like dancing a dance of victory, but you can’t, so you just do a little dancing on the inside? It was one of those moments. I really think he likes me, which is good, since I am going to make his life hell by telling him that I am dating his son and that we are moving in together livin’ in sin.

Love Mandy

Make up sex or angry sex?

I had an argument with F today. It was the third time we had an argument and it has always been about the same thing: racism and prejudice against different cultures. These past few weeks, the question whether the gouvernement should accepting hijab as a part of the police uniform has created a huge debate. The Muslim minority represents about 10 % of the population. Naturally, many people, including myself, are against the legalization. Anyway, those who are for are for the most of them Muslims who use hijab themselves. One of the arguments they use is that they do not want to be a part of a society where the women is objectified and where people has no moral as they are sleeping around. I take this very personally. When we have discussed the issue, I say that I am sick of being judged by people that generalize my culture. Then, F will say something like “yes, but white people are also racist and they do also generalize the Muslim population.” And that is where our argument begins, because to my mind, this isn’t an argument. One cannot justify racist behaviour by another racist  behaviour. I work in a Pakistani restaurant and I can tell that the racism goes both ways. Lately, I have experiences a lot of episodes which makes it a little difficult to work there. Naturally, I take statements like that pretty personally.

So, we had an argument. I explained why I was upset and he understood perfectly why. He didn’t mean anything by it and I knew that, but I still think that somethings aren’t supposed to be justified. And if you still try, it is just very offensive. We made up and had sex.

I do not think it was angry sex nor make up sex. I guess it was because of all the emotions. I feel close to him when I reveal my issues and fears, and sometimes that makes me want to be really intimate with him.

Love Mandy

I almost forgot.. I have a blog!

School is killing me. Work is killing me. It has come to the point where I spend 98 % of my time at work and at the library. This is absolutely not to rant about my pathetic issues since I know many of us are in the same situation. The curriculum is huge… but I tend to be quite hardcore, so I’ll manage. I just want to point out that I’ve got nothing to say and even less time to work on my personal life. All I can say is that I really look forward to hear about Betty’s adventures in the US. Oh yes, I almost forgot, my roommate and I are planning to go to a gay bar, just to try it out. We have spoken of it and I get more end more sure that almost every girl I know fantasise about being with another girl. Smooth.

A few updates on co-worker: we are going out to eat crepes (french pancakes) and drink cider. Then, we will watch a film. We have plenty we haven’t seen yet and since we both enjoy being film geeks… I think we will actually see it at his place (yes, he has his own flat). I do not know when we are going, but it will probably be in the near future. The only backside is that I have to go through the “oh-my-god-is-it-a-date?!?-hell” again.

Love Mandy