Period!

I have my period. All my life, well, all my sexual active life what does that word even mean (Juno)my ex-boyfriend have run away from my bed whenever I have had my period. Therefor I have always assumed that I boys think this is grose and that they force themselves to sleep in my bed. This time, I told F that I had my period and he asked me if the dealio was that he wouldn’t be able to touch me once a month. I answered that we could always do it in the shower. F looked at me and asked “do you mean that we actually can have sex?” I told him that yes, we could. “But don’t you loose lust?” “No, why do you think that?” And then I started to think about all the myths males create about girl-things because they simpley don’t have a clue.

I thought I should clear out some things. I have no medical answeres to this. I only respond from my personal point of view.

Do women loose interest in sex when we have our period?

I guess it is individual. Maybe it is because it can be embarrassing and quite dirty with all the bloody mess. I also think it is considered bit of a taboo having sex while having ones period. In my opinion, no, it has nothing to do with that. Then again, you might talk to your woman about this, since I wouldn’t take my word for the undiscutable truth. Personally, I just think it can be inconvenient doing it in the bed. Nevertheless, I love doing it even though I bleed. There are so many other places we can do it. Like in the bathroom. In front of the sink. And the mirror. 

Love Mandy

My non-existing little friend!

I have never owned a vibrator, nor do I ever think I will! Reason; I have never come with stimulation of clitoris and can only come(so far) from stimulation of the g-spot during penetration AND, just to make it real simple, only in the misionary position.

I guess Mandy, that even though you have never come with a guy, I don’t think it’s that uncommon. Whenever people do talk about sex, it is always good, but in real life, it really isn’t. Let’s just ask, how many of you have had a bad/uncomfortable/awkward sex experience the last month? I know I have, and I know I’ve had them in the past. Sex isn’t always a walk on roses, you do not always come, he doesn’t always get it up and sometimes, it simply just hurts!!!

Why don’t people talk about the uncomfortable things? Well, to be honest I never talk about uncomfortable things, ever! I just avoid them. They simple make me uncomfortable. And I guess the reason why I can talk about it here is because frankly, it’s the internet and none of you guys can see me blush or feel uncomfortable, so I feel more comfortable, and as a natural refleks I can talk more freely about it!

Back to where I started. I don’t have a little friend, but I do have a dildo! There I said it! I never use it, but is longing for a new one that can actually give me pleasure, as the one I have is gross, look weird and is frankly not very comfortable using at all! My little secret: I love going to sex-shops. I love it because the people working there seem to know so many secrets about all of the stuff I didn’t even know existed! I really want a vibrator, but can’t see the point of getting one because it would in fact not give me ANYTHING! To be honest(as I am in the honest corner today!) to much stimulation of clitoris for me is very uncomfortable. It hurts! It’s not good at all, and I am sore for days after! Is anything wrong with me? Does anyone else feel this way?

XX Betty!

Have I been a bad girl?

Lately I have been having a lot of sex. A lot. At least twice a day. Sometimes more. Sometimes several times before we hit the sac. And than again in the morning before we get up or in the shower. I have told him one of my darkest secrets and he has told me about his first and second wet dream. Which both were really sweet. Yet he thought they are embarrassing, so I won’t kiss and tell. What I can do is tell you about my first fantasy, which really is embarrassing. I have already told F and yes, he thought is was kind of bad too. It is. I know. It is sort of a daddy complex and that explains so much of why I have had some issues whenever I felt I was disapointing the male authority persons in my life. I have had this fantasy for a long time and I guess I still have it in me.

It is an older man who, for a reason I ignore, take an interest in me. He is a authority person. Sometimes I work for him, sometimes he is a sort of teacher or just an older and more experienced male. Anyway, he is strong and quite dominant. He comes into my room late at night and tells me to take off my clothes. I am a little afraid of him, but at the same time, I know I have to do what he says, or I’ll get in trouble. When I am completely naked, he starts toughing me and telling me what he will do with me down to the smallest detail. This really turns me on. He says I am going to be his for some time and that he will teach me how to satisfy him. Then he firmly says that if I do not do as he says right a way, he’ll punish me. Oh yeah, spanking. Then, he makes me giving him head and we make love all night.

I might have left the spanking part out because it is frankly quite weird. Well, not that it is anything wrong with it, but I do not like to admit it. I am a strong woman who has her life together, so it is quite embarrassing that my first fantasy was to be dominated in bed by an older dude. Anyway, he took it with a smile. Guess it wasn’t so bad telling after all.

 Love Mandy

Fears

Fears that I keep inside. Why talk? Denial, ignore. These are words that have been very useful to me in the past.

1. Becoming pregnant, even though I am on the pill, my period is a little late.

2. Screwing things up by making him uncomfortable and afraid since I told him I cannot climax with a man.

3. Fear that he will become something I will have to deal with or pressure me.

Love Mandy

Crossing over to the right side!

My little mind is confused!

I did mention D before x-mas, right? Well, my feelings for him continue, and even though I know we do not have a future and that he dumped me for another girl, I am still in love with him. I keep telling myself I am acting like a fool, continue to be in love with someone who dumped you seems so stupid, and at the same time, I can’t stop thinking about him. Or I couldn’t. This have changed slightly. As I have found the most amazing guy I have ever met, my feelings for D have cooled down. They are still there, but I do not think about him all the time anymore and it does not hurt doing things that remind me of him anymore.

Over to my real point. I have met an awesome guy. He is so nice to me and I think I will fall for him. It’s weird because in many ways he is exactly what I have been looking for for quite a while and it feels so good hanging out with him! He was a virgin when I met him, but for some reason I did not detect it. It’s like it all comes so natural for him, and we have pretty good sex already!

XOXO Betty!

Say hello to my little friend

Have you noticed that when people talk about sex, it’s always great. Always. And you feel like a complete idiot because you know that it doesn’t always work that way? Does this sound familiar? You are not alone.

I am going to admit something I have never told a soul. Until yesterday. I have never had a clitoral orgasm with a boy. In fact, the only way I have experienced one is with the though of my little friend. This is not something you want to brag about. And as a woman, I would never say it to my mate. This doesn’t mean I am faking it. When he goes down on me, I love it. It feels really good and I wouldn’t change it for anything. Yet, I do not climax. I have never told anybody because I am afraid of hurting his feelings. I can only imagine how I would reacted if I discovered that I couldn’t make my partner climax. That would be a serious damage to my self confidence. Also, I haven’t told anybody because secretly I do not want to be that vulnerable in front of somebody else. Anyway, I have a lot of small reasons I tell myself to make it sound better. Of course, I have no excuse.

Yesterday, F and I lay in his bed and he asked me about how things work with me. I hesitated, then I told him that I have never reached orgasm without an electric toy. It was pretty embarrassing for me to say it. And obviously, he did not like to hear it. He was glad that I told him, but his first reaction was (obviously) that his manly self esteem was hurt.

We talked it through. He had some trouble performing in the evening. We re-talked it over. I want him to be a part of it. He think he is ready. We did it again this morning. It was tender and quite nice. I really have the best boyfriend ever.

Love Mandy

Pink clouds and butterflies

In three days F and I celebrate our 2 months anniversary. We have it all planned. We are going to go to the restaurant we went the night before we became a couple. This past 2 months has been amazing. I do well at school, my relationship with my parents is alright and I have the best boyfriend ever who makes breakfast to me every morning we wake up together. I am in a very good place right now. Very good.

Right now, I’m at his place while he is out having lunch with his parents, his two sisters, his sister’s fiance, the future parents in law and uncle with wife. The fiance, let’s call him A, is British, and white, and non muslim. And that’s a problem. They also have dinner yesterday evening, so I and oneother colleague had to run the restaurant all by our selves. My boss (his father), let’s call him T, hasn’t accepted the weddingplanes at all. The parents have kind of ignored A and S (F’s sister) since they learned about the engadgement. They also sendt F out to buy them an engagement gift and he still hasn’t been refundent. I think it’s horrible. I have to understanding for it. I like T and his wife as a boss, but I dislike him as a father. Oh… I just realized that’s a pretty mean thing to say. I do not mean to be mean. Nevertheless, I do not understand why A have to go though all the hell it is of being accepted as a son in law, when there is no chance he will ever be. Eventhough he has converted and is now a muslim. I do not understand it has to be a oneway train. I am so glad F has made it totally clear to his parents that he will not ask the one he will marry to convert to Islam.

When i was about to close the restaurant yesterday evening, I went out in the hall to take in the restaurant sign, and there he was. We looked at eachother and without a word he took me in his arms. We hugged. I had missed him a lot and I was tired of having worked for 8 hours. Then, we let go and continues in opposite directions. I have an amasing boyfriend.

Love Mandy