I am home! Home in the sence of my parents house, the town I grew up in, and where all my childhood friends live. Being here is somewhat weird, surreal and empty. I have plenty of time to think back on my amazing year, and I have all the time in the world to think about E, which I have found after leaving him that I am in love with. SO utterly in love in fact that when I was leaving Heatrow to catch my connecting flight, I almost got on the plane going to his city instead of home.
But I didn’t. I wanna do this one right, keep him as a friend, and hope he continue to see me positively. I want this to be the time I did everything right, when I didn’t obsess, annoy and cry myself to sleep at night. I am just as sad, but I have new ways to handle things. My life isn’t over, but my love life is merely on a break, until I someday, hopefully, find someone that can so thoroughly fullfill my demands of a man, like E did, at least for the short time I had with him.
What hurts the most, is that the breakup wasn’t about what breakups is normally about. We broke up, for the simple reason that we live in different countries, and we left the only place where we were together at the same time. To be honest, when I look back at it, I feel so privileged to have known him, and have been allowed to call him mine for these past 4 months, and I truly hope we can remain friends.
I guess time will tell!
xx Betty!
Mandy
Betty
theundressed.wordpress.com 