Conscious

When I started dating boy, I ended up losing my best friend. It sucked. Hard. But I guess that’s life and I just have dealt with it. I hate myself for saying this, but I haven’t got over him. And that really sucks. I used to look a little bit down on people who just couldn’t let go, but now I am one of them. Well, I am not expressing this to anyone. I do not initiate to conversation with him. I keep my distance simply because that is what ex-girlfriends are supposed to do. I think that from day-to-day, it doesn’t bother me much, but when I am all alone in front of my computer, it does. I use way too much time on his FB page… I just realized that I sound pathetic. Really pathetic. I guess I am. As just mentioned, I am crazy busy so it isn’t a problem unless I’m alone. Something I rarely am since I am living together with F.

Yeah, that’s right. I am living together with F. Things are in fact great. He is the nicest BF ever. He is taking me to Istanbul for our one year anniversary. I really look forward to that. He is a way better catch than boy. He has even managed to make me come by going down on me. No one has ever managed that. But he really takes his time. So I should be happy. I am happy. Nevertheless, I miss the best friend I used to have in high school.

Love Mandy

All you need is love

I am so freaking madly in love. I go through my days flying on this pink crazy cloud called love. I have spent the night at F’s place. We went there after work. We, or mostly he since I do not have the keys and because he’s the boss’ son, closed up the restaurant and walked home to his apartment. We showered, separately and went to bed. I really love to be with him. We hold each other, talk, laugh, giggle about silly stuff and make out. I know this sounds cliché and me saying it sounds cliché sounds cliché, but it feels so right. I know that according to his parents belief, what we have done should qualify both of us to a v.i.p lounge in hell. If there ever was any doubt about that, we pretty much crossed that line last night.

I do not remember how, but once during the night, I turned my back to him and we were laying in the spoon position. He was kissing my neck and began to caress my breasts. Then, he started kissing my ear. This might sound a little weird, but I go completely crazy whenever somebody gives my ears that kind of attention. It really turns me on. At this point we both were breathing heavily and I reached the point where I just give up on trying to have any control at all. I reached out to his hip, caressed his back and rubbed my butt against him. I turned my head and kissed him and he put his hand between my legs. What surprised me is that he found my clitoris right the way. Maybe this tells more about my previous boyfriends than anything else. Anyway, we got to second base. It was great. I moaned. I came.

Afterwards, licked and kisses every inch of his body from the neck down to his navel. He moans. I enjoy to see how he reacts to my touches and that also makes me want to do more of it. From his navel, I went down on him. I did not feel as lost an insecure as I have felt until now when I did it on boy for example. This just felt great. I enjoyed it very much. I would love to do it again some time soon. Anyway, he actually stopped me before he came. I do not know why. He told me I was dangerous. It maintains a mystery to me.

However, it was a great night. Didn’t get much sleep though…

Love Mandy