Crazy chick

Why does Boy turn me into this needy, crazy girl who is longing for his attention even though we are not together anymore? I hate the person I am letting myself become in his presence. I have long said that it’s only a question of self control. You have to create situations where you can be the person you want to be. But I am still this little uepathetic girl who wants him to like me and give me attention. Pathetic is what I am. If I burn all the bridges I know I will be able to be more normal. It worked the last time. Then he apologized and it all started over again. I’ll just have to do that I guess. But I don’t want to. I want him to be the best friend he once were. Guess that got f***ed up when he fell in love with me and then dumped me. It’s over and it will always be over. Suck it up Mandy. Deal with it. It’s a reason it’s over.

Love Mandy

I don’t wanna do it if Diddy did it!

I apologize in advance for the title. I don’t know why, but the South Park episode where Satan holds a Halloween party up on earth has been in my head since I left work. Work is btw great. I have been in a a board meeting for the organisation almost the whole day because we had to go over some economical stuff, which took a while. Anyways, I’m home and really have to study. I have decided to try to blog once a day now. I really want to be this wonder woman who gets everything done 🙂

The last news is that we have told F’s parents that we are together. We did it last night and I still have no idea how they react to this information. I know that his mother started crying after I had left. I think I understand too. In her head, it wasn’t this was it was supposed to be. F should get himself a nice Muslim, Pakistani girls from a good family and with a good education. They should  get married and have a lot of kids. They shouldn’t be dating since that’s forbidden in Islam. I have no idea how this will end. I guess time will tell… I have been a little freaked out by the no reaction they had, but now I’m fine. We are going to my parent’s this weekend. It will be the first time F is introduced to them. I look forward to it.

I had a fight with Boy last evening. I am pretty sick of him wanting to be friends, but at the same time not committing to the friendship. Maybe I shouldn’t be friends with him. In fact, the situation being, I cannot really see how we are. The initiative have to be mutual, which it isn’t. Frankly, I do not even care anymore.  Who am I kidding, I DO care. F***!

Love Mandy

Not so bad after all

Yesterday sucked. High on the list over things which suck are situations where your ex, whom you are trying to be friends with again, makes allusions to his or hers sexlife. What sucks even harder is that I cannot say anything because then he will know that it is making me uncomfortable and I do not want to give him that satisfaction.

Luckily, my brown boyfriend’s dad (my boss, also called T) were there to save the day. When he asked me if I could work on Sunday (which is today) and I said yes, he hugged me! He is my Pakistani boss and he has never, ever hugged me. Moreover, I am not really a hugger I am way too shy,so I have never taken any initiative. F was standing right next to us. After T had gone, F and I had a moment. You know when you feel like dancing a dance of victory, but you can’t, so you just do a little dancing on the inside? It was one of those moments. I really think he likes me, which is good, since I am going to make his life hell by telling him that I am dating his son and that we are moving in together livin’ in sin.

Love Mandy

Little mirror on the wall

Due to recent discussions between Betty and I whether one should be friends with the ex and the fact that I just learned that we can create a poll on wordpress, we now want to hear your opinion on the matter!

Love Mandy

I do not want to be mean but…

…yeah, you should feel really bad!

Some days ago, somebody used this search line to discover our blog :”im going out with my mates ex boyfriend and feel really bad”.

I do not know how to put this without being mean. I am not a big fan of the rules, but your friends’ ex-boyfriends are strictly off-limits. You do not even need a book to tell you that. Common sense should be plenty enough. I am aware of that it can be hard to choose who we fall in love with, but seriously. Is that the excuse? Alright, we cannot control our feelings, but we can and should control our actions. I am sorry, but you should feel bad about dating your friend’s ex. Really bad. It is not socially accepted in our society. Moreover, it is not in your best interest: you will probably end up losing both of them.

Love Mandy

PS. I am sorry for he morality speech. I try to limit these kind of posts.