I’m sorry ;)

Appologies for not having written anything in..forever! My life hasn’t really been all THAT busy, and to be honest, I don’t really have a good excuse. Oh well, anyway!
My sex life hasn’t been all that exiting lately either, oh what the hell, so hasn’t my life been either. I hadn’t done anything since May… Hadn’t beeing the key word here. I’m a bit confused. I meet this guy, and we get along great! We meet several times, and then we end up making out and me sleeping there one night. I stopped it before we did anything else, because I saw the opportunity of profound awkwardness when we start working together soon.
Then we hooked up again! At a work-party.. And once again I came back to his place, but this time I couldn’t stop it. Now, between hookup #1 and hookup #2 I tried to get him to do something with me (watch a movie, have a beer etc.) and he sort of blew me off! Now I’m confused wheater he wants only sex and random hookups or if he’s interested in something..more permanent?

Betty!

Crazy chick

Why does Boy turn me into this needy, crazy girl who is longing for his attention even though we are not together anymore? I hate the person I am letting myself become in his presence. I have long said that it’s only a question of self control. You have to create situations where you can be the person you want to be. But I am still this little uepathetic girl who wants him to like me and give me attention. Pathetic is what I am. If I burn all the bridges I know I will be able to be more normal. It worked the last time. Then he apologized and it all started over again. I’ll just have to do that I guess. But I don’t want to. I want him to be the best friend he once were. Guess that got f***ed up when he fell in love with me and then dumped me. It’s over and it will always be over. Suck it up Mandy. Deal with it. It’s a reason it’s over.

Love Mandy

I don’t wanna do it if Diddy did it!

I apologize in advance for the title. I don’t know why, but the South Park episode where Satan holds a Halloween party up on earth has been in my head since I left work. Work is btw great. I have been in a a board meeting for the organisation almost the whole day because we had to go over some economical stuff, which took a while. Anyways, I’m home and really have to study. I have decided to try to blog once a day now. I really want to be this wonder woman who gets everything done 🙂

The last news is that we have told F’s parents that we are together. We did it last night and I still have no idea how they react to this information. I know that his mother started crying after I had left. I think I understand too. In her head, it wasn’t this was it was supposed to be. F should get himself a nice Muslim, Pakistani girls from a good family and with a good education. They should  get married and have a lot of kids. They shouldn’t be dating since that’s forbidden in Islam. I have no idea how this will end. I guess time will tell… I have been a little freaked out by the no reaction they had, but now I’m fine. We are going to my parent’s this weekend. It will be the first time F is introduced to them. I look forward to it.

I had a fight with Boy last evening. I am pretty sick of him wanting to be friends, but at the same time not committing to the friendship. Maybe I shouldn’t be friends with him. In fact, the situation being, I cannot really see how we are. The initiative have to be mutual, which it isn’t. Frankly, I do not even care anymore.  Who am I kidding, I DO care. F***!

Love Mandy