The L-word

So… It has been said. One night. We were wrapped up in each others’ arms. We were kissing and he said it.

“I love you”

Three little words. Just like that. So easy. Natural.

I guess I looked a little surprised because he repeated it. Smiled and hugged me. A lot of things went through my head. I do not have issues with these words. Not anymore. Everything felt right. I want it so bad. Yet, it was maybe too soon. Aren’t there rules for this? According to some religious and cultural rules, we shouldn’t even be doing what we were doing, so I decided to screw the rules. Normal is the watchword.

“I love you too”

There. It’s said. I’m vulnerable again.

Love Mandy

All you need is love

I am so freaking madly in love. I go through my days flying on this pink crazy cloud called love. I have spent the night at F’s place. We went there after work. We, or mostly he since I do not have the keys and because he’s the boss’ son, closed up the restaurant and walked home to his apartment. We showered, separately and went to bed. I really love to be with him. We hold each other, talk, laugh, giggle about silly stuff and make out. I know this sounds cliché and me saying it sounds cliché sounds cliché, but it feels so right. I know that according to his parents belief, what we have done should qualify both of us to a v.i.p lounge in hell. If there ever was any doubt about that, we pretty much crossed that line last night.

I do not remember how, but once during the night, I turned my back to him and we were laying in the spoon position. He was kissing my neck and began to caress my breasts. Then, he started kissing my ear. This might sound a little weird, but I go completely crazy whenever somebody gives my ears that kind of attention. It really turns me on. At this point we both were breathing heavily and I reached the point where I just give up on trying to have any control at all. I reached out to his hip, caressed his back and rubbed my butt against him. I turned my head and kissed him and he put his hand between my legs. What surprised me is that he found my clitoris right the way. Maybe this tells more about my previous boyfriends than anything else. Anyway, we got to second base. It was great. I moaned. I came.

Afterwards, licked and kisses every inch of his body from the neck down to his navel. He moans. I enjoy to see how he reacts to my touches and that also makes me want to do more of it. From his navel, I went down on him. I did not feel as lost an insecure as I have felt until now when I did it on boy for example. This just felt great. I enjoyed it very much. I would love to do it again some time soon. Anyway, he actually stopped me before he came. I do not know why. He told me I was dangerous. It maintains a mystery to me.

However, it was a great night. Didn’t get much sleep though…

Love Mandy

Boyfriend material

These last weeks has been quite strange. I have hung out with F a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean a lot. We have gone to the movies, the theatre, we have eaten out, at home, watched Flight of the Concords, the office, funny games us and much other stuff. Every time, I have slept over at his place. In his bed. Next to the wall. With him. And nothing has happened. Until yesterday night. He took me to a really cosy French restaurant after we had watched a play, which by the way was absolutely awesome. A piece after a book of the Norwegian writer Knut Hamsun who also got the Nobel Price of litterature. Anyway, we went home to him. Played scrabble. I won, as usual and I was actually very tired so we hit the sac. But as usual when we sleep together, we could not fall asleep. We had a pillow fight, talked a lot of nonsense and stared at each other for hours. 

After a while, he asked me what I was thinking about and I told him that I thought about the guy who plays Hayden Panettiere in Bring It On All Or Nothing, because I were so happy and I thought I had the same dorky smile. Then I said that usually, it’s the girl who asks that question and I asked him the same. He did not answer. I asked if it was serious. He remained silent and I said that if he wanted, I could just leave it. Aftera few more minutes, I had nearly fallen asleep, basically he told me that he was in love with me but that it did not need to change anything and that he would just keep ignoring his feelings. Hearing that from the the boy I have been into for months sat me a little out and I took a deep breath. A pause. And I told him that I felt the same way about him. And we kissed. And it was great. The passion of two people who has been into each other for a long time, but who never has done anything about it and the experience of something new.

So I guess I have a boyfriend now.

Love Mandy

Ps. For those who wonder, first base only. But it’s cool. I am so wonderfully happy 😀

Having trouble sleeping

Co-worker, let’s just call him F from now on, has moved into his new apartment. He did it yesterday and he invited me over after work the same day. I accepted and the plan was that we shouldn’t watch any movies because in that way, I would be able to catch the last subway home. But it didn’t work out as I had planed. We watched a movie, talked, drank wine and before we had actually noticed anything, it was too late for me to go home. Since he has just one room in the apartment and also just one bed, be slept together that night. Anyways, we tried to sleep, but we stayed up talking for hours. We passed out in the same bed and nothing happened.

He hasn’t tried to make a move, not even once. It’s weird. Or no, it’s not. It probably just means that he is not interested. But if that’s the case, it’s really too bad. I like him a lot. He’s great. Really great and I have started to have some seriously erotic dreams about him. This is hard. That’s what she said!I think I am falling, crushing to the ground. On the same time, I keep getting these mixed signals, the looks, something that makes me think that he may just be shy, which I know he is.

By the way, he told me this morning that while I was asleep, I had had some trouble falling asleep because he’d forgot to eat. Suddenly, he thought something dead had fallen on his head, but when he looked closer, it was my hand. In my sleep I had just reached out and put my hand on his head. Charming…

Love Mandy