Say hello to my little friend

Have you noticed that when people talk about sex, it’s always great. Always. And you feel like a complete idiot because you know that it doesn’t always work that way? Does this sound familiar? You are not alone.

I am going to admit something I have never told a soul. Until yesterday. I have never had a clitoral orgasm with a boy. In fact, the only way I have experienced one is with the though of my little friend. This is not something you want to brag about. And as a woman, I would never say it to my mate. This doesn’t mean I am faking it. When he goes down on me, I love it. It feels really good and I wouldn’t change it for anything. Yet, I do not climax. I have never told anybody because I am afraid of hurting his feelings. I can only imagine how I would reacted if I discovered that I couldn’t make my partner climax. That would be a serious damage to my self confidence. Also, I haven’t told anybody because secretly I do not want to be that vulnerable in front of somebody else. Anyway, I have a lot of small reasons I tell myself to make it sound better. Of course, I have no excuse.

Yesterday, F and I lay in his bed and he asked me about how things work with me. I hesitated, then I told him that I have never reached orgasm without an electric toy. It was pretty embarrassing for me to say it. And obviously, he did not like to hear it. He was glad that I told him, but his first reaction was (obviously) that his manly self esteem was hurt.

We talked it through. He had some trouble performing in the evening. We re-talked it over. I want him to be a part of it. He think he is ready. We did it again this morning. It was tender and quite nice. I really have the best boyfriend ever.

Love Mandy

Pink clouds and butterflies

In three days F and I celebrate our 2 months anniversary. We have it all planned. We are going to go to the restaurant we went the night before we became a couple. This past 2 months has been amazing. I do well at school, my relationship with my parents is alright and I have the best boyfriend ever who makes breakfast to me every morning we wake up together. I am in a very good place right now. Very good.

Right now, I’m at his place while he is out having lunch with his parents, his two sisters, his sister’s fiance, the future parents in law and uncle with wife. The fiance, let’s call him A, is British, and white, and non muslim. And that’s a problem. They also have dinner yesterday evening, so I and oneother colleague had to run the restaurant all by our selves. My boss (his father), let’s call him T, hasn’t accepted the weddingplanes at all. The parents have kind of ignored A and S (F’s sister) since they learned about the engadgement. They also sendt F out to buy them an engagement gift and he still hasn’t been refundent. I think it’s horrible. I have to understanding for it. I like T and his wife as a boss, but I dislike him as a father. Oh… I just realized that’s a pretty mean thing to say. I do not mean to be mean. Nevertheless, I do not understand why A have to go though all the hell it is of being accepted as a son in law, when there is no chance he will ever be. Eventhough he has converted and is now a muslim. I do not understand it has to be a oneway train. I am so glad F has made it totally clear to his parents that he will not ask the one he will marry to convert to Islam.

When i was about to close the restaurant yesterday evening, I went out in the hall to take in the restaurant sign, and there he was. We looked at eachother and without a word he took me in his arms. We hugged. I had missed him a lot and I was tired of having worked for 8 hours. Then, we let go and continues in opposite directions. I have an amasing boyfriend.

Love Mandy

Damn…

I just realized that F and I never can break up. I mean, we have done so many things together that I love so if we ever break up, I must stop doing them and that would really suck. These are some of the things that will forever be associated with him:

1. The Office US (Ryan the sexy temp, Fire-guy, Jim&Pam, Dwight’s beet farm)
2. “That’s what she said” jokes
3. “Been there done that” jokes
4. Flight of the Conchords
5. Passolini
6. Derrida
7. Pakistan (obviously, his parents are from there)
8. My part time job (we work together)
9. My boss (his father)
10. Philosophy especially methaphysics (he is studying it, 4th year)
11. The area of town where he lives
12. Smoke (a cat we have seen several times in the park)
13. Sadistic films such as Salo, Funny games and the Anatomy of hell
14. Zombies
15. Squash and tennis (which we have been playing a lot together)
16. Ties from the seventies (I love the way he wears them!)
17. Espresso
18. Tea from Palais des thes
19. Tutter
20. Mango Lassi

I tried to say this as a joke to him, but it got kind of awkward. When I said “we can’t ever break up” as we were watching the office, he replied”do you want to break up?!?”. So I guess it’s the same with break-up jokes as hilarious aids jokes: they don’t exist. Oh… That’s another one that will for always be associated with F.

Love Mandy

The L-word

So… It has been said. One night. We were wrapped up in each others’ arms. We were kissing and he said it.

“I love you”

Three little words. Just like that. So easy. Natural.

I guess I looked a little surprised because he repeated it. Smiled and hugged me. A lot of things went through my head. I do not have issues with these words. Not anymore. Everything felt right. I want it so bad. Yet, it was maybe too soon. Aren’t there rules for this? According to some religious and cultural rules, we shouldn’t even be doing what we were doing, so I decided to screw the rules. Normal is the watchword.

“I love you too”

There. It’s said. I’m vulnerable again.

Love Mandy

Angel on earth

Last night we went to bed at the same time. He was supposed to sleep on the coach, but after a while he joined me in my bed. Insecure at first, as he was exploring new territory. Without giving you the details, he got on top after a little cuddling. It was nice. Women need to feel close to their man and it was just as intimate I prefer it.

Right now we are sitting on the coach. He has his head on my stomach and he is sleeping while I work on my laptop. I like the tough of a male again. Just laying on the bed with his head between my breasts. I had almost forgot how a caress fast can turn into tickling because men sometimes are a bit clumsy. The good thing is that he is not that messy and the most important: he does not play computer games at all. He think they are boring, which means that we have a lot of time to spend together just doing nothing. I love the beginning of a relationship when you cannot get enough of the other and you want to spend every single second of every day together. He is almost perfect.

Finally. It took a while to repair this broken heart, but now, chances are I have a new man in my life. His name is Raphael and a quick search on wikipedia told me that he might be named after an angel with healing powers, which I could need. 

                         

Isn’t he cute? Yeah, the photo is fussy, but try to take a picture of your chest while you are sitting with a chinchilla on yourself. Not the easiest situation… Raphael himself, the one and only 🙂

Love Mandy

Hot and old news

Yesterday, Betty told me about an article on msn.com. It always makes me laugh when media write about so called new and unknown stuff, when in reality, we have been aware of the subject for a while. Anyway,  the article explained that women has as much sex appetite as men. Some of you might say, “hey, if that is true, then why is my partner never taking the initiative?”. According to this article, a certain Tristan Bailey explains that it’s because women get turned on in the act and not so much before it. She will therefore respond positively to her partner, but not take the first step to get undressed. I would also add that the good girl syndrome some of us deals with, might play a part. Tristan Bailey’s advice to all frustrated men out there who are tired of having the impression that they are the only ones thinking about sex, is to find out what turns your partner on and then do it and the chance you’ll get her in bed increases considerably. Okay, but what about my needs you might say. Well… I am not talking about one night stands, but how I think things work out in a relationship. My experience is that when a girl trusts a boy, she is willing to do almost everything in bed. If she doesn’t take the initiative to satisfy you, it might be that she thinks she should “get your approval” to touch you (silly, but it might be true). Il might also be that she doesn’t realise that you too need foreplay. So tell her, communication is everything. How do you think men first discovered clitoris? On their own? I think not…  I can’t repeat this enough: communication.

I think Tristan Bailey is right because when a girl at first get turned on, she is more likely to loose those moral restrictions she might have, simply because you drive her mad. An illustration from real life, it was first one time I was really horny and dripping wet that my boyfriend got me to fifth base.

 

Love Mandy